Titillating Talk Tuesday: How to Unleash Your Inner “Bad Girl”

This week’s Question

Titillating Talk Tuesdays at FeminineXperienceDear Scarlett Fire,

I was raised to be a good girl.  But lately, I feel restricted, like there’s another part of me dying to get out.  I want to be more open but my good girl holds me back.  How do I unleash my inner naughty / bad girl?


Scarlett Fire’s Advice:


LEFT: June Cleaver, (Barbara Billingsley)-Leave it to Beaver RIGHT: Ginger Grant, (Tina Louise)- Gilligan’s Island

Most people are raised to be a good girl, to be in their light feminine energy. Many women have been discouraged from tapping into their darker feminine energy.

If you watch some of the older TV programming  you’ll notice there are two types of women:

  1. the light feminine energy of being a mother, or a teacher, someone nurturing and loving such as June Cleaver  in Leave it to Beaver,
  2. and  the darker feminine energy of the sex pot, the sex goddess that men will turn their heads to follow, to start howling and to die for such as Ginger Grant on  Gilligan’s Island.

Light Feminine Energy:

 Most women have been encouraged to be the first – the light energy, feminine female. It’s safe and socially acceptable. Sex is taboo with many and a woman who is confident in her sexual nature can feel threatening to other people who are not as self-confident. So, quite often, the  women were strongly encouraged to push this lighter feminine part of themselves down inside or even to  ignore it completely.

The problem with this and the problem with embracing only half of you, is that it will leave you feeling like half a woman. It can also make you feel guilty for being in the dark energy which is a natural balancing part of you.

Darker Feminine Energy:

The darker feminine energy is all about desire,sensuality, sexuality and  feeling attractive. By not tapping into this darker feminine energy  you are not your whole self – not the authentic you.

Balance Both Energies:

 It is important to embrace both sides of your femininity. It can take practice – embracing and loving both sides of your energy. However, it is extremely important to live a balanced life for you mental well-being!

For more information on cultivating feminine energy please watch my video, Cultivating Feminine Energy: Sensuality Through the Senses

Good Girl / Bad Girl

Good Girls don’t do what Bad Girls will .  This is also why there is a saying among men, ” I want a Lady in the street and a Freak in the bed”.

The bad girl / naughty girl is part of every woman. If you think she isn’t then you’ve done a great job hiding or burying her deep, deep down inside. Trust me, until you release her, she will never allow you to be your fullest, most radiant version of yourself. You will never be completely free!

How to release and cultivate your naughty bad girl:

Here are a couple of tips that will start you in the right direction, demonstrating different degrees of naughty/bad girl!

good girl silhouette of woman standingExercise One:

  • NAUGHTY: put on some music that makes you feel sensual (perhaps Naughty Girl” by Beyonce?)
  • NAUGHTIER: put on some music that makes you feel sensual and start moving to it
  • NAUGHTIEST: put on music that makes you feel sensual, move to it in your sexy underwear or outfit
  • FULL OUT BAD GIRL: Put on music that makes you feel sensual, naughty and move to it in your sexy outfit, touch yourself and get to know yourself again…..even toss in a few head flips and wall slides.

silhouette of sexy woman standing in doorwaysExercise Two:

  • NAUGHTY: Do something (not sexual at first) that makes you feel bad-ass, and a little naughty. When you pass by a complete stranger (the cuter the better) giving them a wink or a smile.
  • NAUGHTIER: Go to a public place wearing RED lipstick and heels. Pass by a complete stranger (the cuter the better) and give them a wink or a smile. Maybe even both.
  • NAUGHTIEST: Go to a public place wearing Red Lipstick, heels and a skirt with the sexiest panties you own (it will be your own naughty little secret).
  • FULL OUT BAD GIRL: Go to a public place wearing Red Lipstick, heels and a skirt with NO panties on. Pass by a complete stranger (the cuter the better) and give them a wink or a smile…just make sure it is NOT a windy day or you might have a Bad-Girl-gone-wrong moment when your skirt suddenly flips up Marilyn Monroe style. LOL

Get in Touch with Your Feminine Energies

Register for Transformational Burlesque to enhance your life experience, magnify your sensuality, strengthen your self-confidence and accentuate your femininity.






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